Like every other person old enough to give it any thought, I want to live in my own home for as long as I can. I also don’t want to be a burden on my children who will have to help make that possible. The trouble is, by the time we get that old we often don’t realize how difficult it is for our children to keep us at home safely. Even when they’re not here helping us, they worry about us.
Some of us older folks were raised with the idea that it was shameful to turn the care of our aging parents or spouse over to someone else or even to ask for in-home help. Some of us even promise that they will never have to leave their home, a promise that was insisted upon by the same parents who told their children, “I never want to be a burden on my kids.” These two commitments are rarely compatible.
November is National Family Caregiver Month. Governor Cox has also declared November as Family Caregivers Month in Utah. Are you a family caregiver?
When my husband, Dennis, was first diagnosed as being in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease, I was told to expect that he would gradually have more difficulty planning and initiating a healthy variety of activities, but that it would help his emotional health and mental abilities to interact with other people. Knowing this prompted me to take the initiative when it came to planning things we could do together, and to suggest things he could do on his own or with friends and family.
Almost everyone wants to “age in place,” or in their own homes. They also typically say that they don’t want to be a burden on their children, and yet they insist that they not be moved to one of their homes or to an assisted living facility.